(Mike Johnson Gets The Table Scraps by Flora Smith)
The age of the Substack blogger has arrived. Here’s what two fashy pricks on the website have brought to politics here in the United States.
“What is being a dictator? It’s such a pejorative term. It’s an opprobrious word!”
“These things we call companies, are really little monarchies.”
“What we need is a CEO. Throughout history, the greatest American figures were CEOs.”
“If you look at George Washington, he ran the nation like a CEO. FDR much the same.”
“Let’s be clear, what we’re seeing right now is not a full descent into my vision of the future. I would be shocked if anything changed in this administration. In fact, I can assure you, nothing will.
“I think having an effective government, and an efficient government, is better for everyone’s lives.”
Quotes taken from Curtis Yarvin’s New York Times interview on January 18th this year. Yarvin is an American Substack blogger, conservative thinker, and architect of the neo-feudalist, “Dark Enlightenment” movement. Under his own name on Substack and his alias “Moldbug” on his own website “Unqualified Reservations,” Yarvin has advocated for a program which he called “RAGE” or “Retire All Government Employees.” This, he said, would be the requisite first step to constructing an America free of its “dictator phobia.”
Yarvin is an avowed friend of tech billionaire Marc Andreessen.
“Lies. We are told that technology takes our jobs, reduces our wages, increases inequality, threatens our health, ruins the environment, degrades our society, corrupts our children, impairs our humanity, threatens our future, and is ever on the verge of ruining everything.”
“Truth. Technology is the glory of human ambition and achievement, the spearhead of progress, and the realization of our potential. For hundreds of years, we properly glorified this – until recently.”
“We believe Artificial Intelligence is our alchemy, our Philosopher’s Stone – we are literally making sand think.”
“We believe Artificial Intelligence is best thought of as a universal problem solver. And we have a lot of problems to solve.”
Quotes taken from Marc Andreesen’s Techno-Optimist Manifesto. Marc Andreesen is a self-described “unpaid intern” at DOGE. He and Peter Thiel raised a $120 million for J.D. Vance’s hedge fund, so, to be clear, his internship is as unpaid as an elite private school student’s admissions process at Stanford.
“When conferences like this convene to discuss a cutting edge technology, oftentimes I think our response is to be too self-conscious, too risk adverse. But never have I, in tech, encountered something that so clearly calls us to do exactly the opposite.”
This opening remark is from JD Vance’s speech on the future of AI at President Macron’s “AI Action Summit” (Sommet pour l’action sur l’intelligence artificielle).
Listening to this conference, anyone may hear Vance regurgitate the talking points of both Yarvin and Marc Andreessen. Marc Andreessen being, by any information available, the only one of whom JD Vance has a personal commitment to. (As can be seen in this Tweet of his defending the billionaire.)
According to Curtis Yarvin in his New York Times interview, JD Vance is the most powerful person behind his movement because he can speak “normie.” Andreessen noted on his podcast that Trump and Vance were the only ones who recognized that American technological dominance “lives or dies on the fate of whether startups can succeed or not.” Vance is the noted figurehead of these two pricks blog-ascribed ideologies.
JD Vance, like these two Substack bloggers, has co-opted the language of progress and radical change to advocate for conservatism and preserving the interests of the ultra-wealthy. JD Vance, like the good millennial he is, has officially ushered in the era of Blogger Conservatism.
The time is now, ye Blogger Conservatives, to come out of the woodwork and parade your beliefs. The second gilded age has begun, and who knows—maybe if you post that Substack article advocating for neo-killpeopleism, you too could influence the Vice President of the United States.
Catterton Scribes 
Leave a comment