Category: Uncategorized
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Your Rich Best Friend
(Look Where You’re At by Flora Smith) Everyone is so scared to say the r-word these days, so I’ll just get to the point. We’re in a recession. Or approaching a recession at rapid velocity. Either way, it’s time to start thinking about the r-word girlie! First off, let’s dispel some of those fears you…
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The Age of Blogger Conservatism
(Mike Johnson Gets The Table Scraps by Flora Smith) The age of the Substack blogger has arrived. Here’s what two fashy pricks on the website have brought to politics here in the United States. “What is being a dictator? It’s such a pejorative term. It’s an opprobrious word!” “These things we call companies, are really…
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Afterlife
When the dream deigns to touch the living, the living do not greet it with open arms. They close their hearts, and they shut their eyes, and they assign one hand to close their nostrils, the other to cover one ear. And through the remaining ear the dream enters. The dream is slow-witted and ill-tempered.…
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If Nineteen People Died, I Would Be The Secretary of Agriculture
(XX, Drawn by Flora Smith) A terrace bar in Manhattan, Kansas. Noisy, but the background conversations are sober and quiet enough to not be distracting. College students in suits crowd the business-casual-clad representatives for corporate bodies, governmental bodies, and human bodies. DAN and SUZANNE are leaning over the balcony. The man, DAN, is wearing a…
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Requiem for the Liberal Arts Majors
(Dorm Room 201, Drawn by Flora Smith) SCENE 1 Freshman introductions event in the skeleton of a fifty million dollar building. A “Scavenger Hunt” (tour) guided by an energetic sophomore, who is now pointing the freshman toward an abandoned popcorn machine, apparently reserved for finals season. POPCORN-CRAVING FRESHMAN: “What’s your major?” ASHAMED FRESHMAN: “Philosophy. Then…
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My 2024 Summer Reading List
Ishmael, Illinoise, Angels in America, Never Let Go, and working at a Christian summer camp. This summer has been broad. I watched, did, and read so much that I want to talk about, but unfortunately, UT kicks off in three weeks, and I’ve been under a mountain of submission deadlines. So, in lieu of these…
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Gender As Death in “I Saw The TV Glow”
There is still time. Some precursory advice for anyone who needs it. With gender, following your gut is the only place to start. If you feel uncomfortable with the phrases and shorthand used to describe you, you should follow that feeling of discomfort. You will be shocked by the peace it may bring you. In…
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An Open Letter to Amazon Studios: Please Adapt Strong Female Protagonist
I need someone to give Brennan Lee Mulligan and Molly Ostertag 10 million dollars per episode. Dear Amazon Studios, After the conclusion of your second season of Invincible, I’ve read that you have decided to greenlight another two seasons. Awesome. Robert Kirkman is a pro, and his 144 issue comic being adapted this well, for…
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The (Third) End of Evangelion
The four-part reimagining of Hideaki Anno’s hit series Neon Genesis Evangelion has come to an end, an unapproachable and unforgivingly confusing end. If you are here for a summary of what you “need to know”, or a recap of the events of Neon Genesis Evangelion before you watch the film, I will candidly let you…
Catterton Scribes 